Who Am I And What is This All About?
Updated: May 3
"Do you drive full time or do you have another job too?"
I've been driving for Uber 3 months now and second only to "Do you like it?", this is the most common question passengers ask.
It's a seemingly simple question and I know no one wants a complicated, long-winded answer, but it feels complicated.
"Well…" I begin, then struggle to give a quick answer.
"I'm a nurse.
Well, I was a nurse.
I quit my job 2 months ago so I can do my internship - I'm finishing grad school to be a therapist so right now I'm working there for free.
You mean like a physical therapist, or a talking therapist?
Talking. A counselor. I'm studying to be a counselor…"
And the questions go on. The normal, light-hearted questions people ask to make small talk and pass the time; do I have kids, am I married, what part of the valley do I live in, etc.
And with each question I realize how strange and new my life is. Yes, I do have kids. 3 boys and a granddaughter in fact, ("Oh, and we thought you were a college kid" Big thumbs up from me!) And I have 2 step-children that I still don't think of as "my step-children". We've been married just 4 months. All our kids are grown and none (currently) live with us so I frequently forget that I really am a step-mom.
And that's pretty new still, saying I'm married. Following my divorce, I was single for 10 years and had gotten used to it. That took a while too, but I finally grew accustomed to saying I was single. And now I'm not again, which I love. I love being married! but I'm still not quite used to saying it. Oh, and my name is hyphenated. His is too. We decided to take each other's name in a show of unity and equality, but damn if I can remember to say it. "…DuBois. Dang it, I mean Stockwell-DuBois, I'm married now".
And we're moving. We currently live on one side of Gilbert but as soon as the house is done we're moving to the other side. Even though it's the same city, it's a whole different world over there.
At some point while answering all these questions it hits me; I've got so many transitions going on, I'm not always sure who I am or what I'm doing anymore. This must be what early onset Alzheimer's feels like.
So in sitting down to define the tone and purpose of this blog I feel a little lost. Am I writing about transitioning to a new career in my late 40's?
Should I focus on the strange situations and experiences I am exposed to as new counselor (or even an Uber driver) in a unfamiliar field?
Could my emphasis reflect tenets of the Law of Attraction (something I am working to better understand) or do I go all counselor-speak and sprinkle in cognitive-behaviorally based concepts of human behavior?
Should I do a video blog?
Can I work in cute pictures of the fur-babies?
Am I going slightly crazy??
The point is that I don't know. I don't know exactly what this blog is about, but I know I want to write. I want to share, and I hope that in so doing I might make someone smile or help change a life. You never know, it might be that good!
So here goes. From a 40-something year old nurse/counselor-in-training/student/Uber driver/newlywed/mother of 3, sort of but really 5, with 2 pups, a new job to find and a new house to fill, here goes. I can't promise amazing, and I can't promise I won't try to work in pictures of the puppies (because they really are that cute). But I can promise you'll get me. The introspective, sometimes moody, but always passionate me.
Let's see where this goes, shall we?
Originally published August 7, 2016